Alcibiades

So I'm skipping ahead 10 dialogs in the Cooper collection to go directly to the next 'early' or 'Socratic' one.  Which happens to be one that classicists are not even sure Plato really wrote.  To clarify, this Complete Works collection contains a number of dialogs that are explicitly marked, "It is generally agreed by scholars that Plato is not the author of this work."  We'll come to several of those next.  Alcibiades is merely marked, "It is not generally agreed by scholars whether Plato is the author of this work."  Regardless of whether the authorship is in dispute or not, the tone of this one is completely different from any of those we've read.  

Alcibiades is a question and answer based Socratic dialog, but the namesake character is such an ignorant kid that Socrates is forced to lead him like a horse to water.  In fact, Socrates sort of runs circles around the poor boy, constantly teasing him, and just in general comes off as a bit of a sophist here.  This, it turns out, is all in the name of seducing him -- it's an explicitly homoerotic dialog. Alcibiades is a rich, handsome, noble born boy who thinks the world of himself and intends to jump into politics and take Athens and by storm.  He has already had many suitors, but, in his arrogance, spurned them all.  Socrates, however, persists in his love, seemingly hopelessly, given that fact that he's uglier, poorer, and less politically influential than the other men who have fallen in love with Alcibiades.

Obviously, what Socrates has to offer is his peculiar ironic brand of wisdom.  He claims that Alcibiades will come to love him once he understands that he won't achieve any of his worldly ambitions without what Socrates has to teach him.  The dialog consists in Socrates gradually unfolding what exactly this is, and how it's going to help Alcibiades.  The kid is such an arrogant dunce though that Socrates can only convince him he'll be better off listening by making him look like a fool and confront his own ignorance.  Which is why the whole dialog has such a mocking flirtatious tone.

While it's sort of amusing, there's not a whole lot of philosophy to this one.  Basically Socrates just points out that if Alcibiades wants to lead the people of Athens, he ought to first cultivate some sort of expertise.  Specifically, he should learn about what is the most important thing for a city -- what is just and unjust.  Naturally, Alcibiades (and everyone else) thinks they already just know what is just and unjust, and so doesn't believe he is in need of any cultivation on this point.  The fact that Albiciabes spins in self-contradictory circles when Socrates asks him to say exactly what he means by justice proves just the opposite.  

Finally, worn out by Socrates and finally admitting his confusion, Alcibiades asks what he has to do to cultivate his understanding.  At which point Socrates drops perhaps the greatest pick up line of all time.  No, not, "Somebody better call God, because he's missing an angel."  He says that Alcibiades needs to take the first step out of ignorance and follow the Oracle's advice to "know thyself".  And how do you come to know yourself for itself?  Well, you have to get to know your own true inner self, your soul, and not merely learn some skills that this soul possesses.  And how can we manage to know our soul?  We have to see it reflected in the soul of another, the way we can see an image of our own face reflected in the eyes of another. So stare into my eyes Alcibiades.  Closer ... deeper ... Do you have a map Socrates? I keep getting lost in your eyes.  Depending on your perspective the ending is disappointingly softcore.  But, you know, tasteful.